CONLEY COMMENTARY (WSAU) – What’s your definition of a ‘happy’ life?
If we think back to biblical times, could those people have possibly been happy? They eked out an existence. Food and shelter and safety were not givens then. I know my happiness goes down substantially if I don’t get a good nights sleep. And people 2000 years ago didn’t have pillows or mattresses. If I slept on straw I’d be much less happy.
And yet today, in a world full of modern conveniences and affluence, so many of us are not happy. I’ve become more convinced that happiness isn’t about material things or comforts. This may seem counterintuitive, but the more our lives are about “us”, the less happy we may be.
I’ve suggested that the Nashville school shooter, a biological woman who presented herself as a man, had an incredible amount of anger within her. It manifested itself in the murders of 6 people. Self-deception cannot be a path to happiness. Reality – that she’s a woman – would have confronted her constantly. In some people that leads to rage.
The web site medical news-dot-org lists 30 habits or mindsets of unhappy people. That’s too many to list here. But almost all of them are inward looking – like unhappy people worry about what other people think about them. Unhappy people have unusually strong defense mechanisms. They tend to overthink things. They assume the worst.
So is it possible that the more you focus on yourself, the less likely you are to be happy?
And could the opposite be true? The more you focus on others, the more happy you might be.
Suppose someone dedicates their lives to helping the poor or the hungry. Well those are problems that one person cannot possibly solve. No matter how many resources and energy you bring to those causes, there will always be people who are poor and hungry. Some people would find it incredibly frustrating to devote themselves to something that is unfixable.
But yet they can see the people they’ve helped – and helping people, individuals, is incredibly fulfilling. “No, I didn’t solve the hunger problem, but that person and that family had something to eat because of me… and I feel good about that.”
Maybe this will give you a new perspective on a Bible verse you’ve probably heard before. Jesus said “Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life.”
For this final week of Lent, reflect on this: What if we’ll be happier if we focus less on ourselves and more on others?
Chris Conley
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